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“God, God, God” I muttered through sniffles and hiccups against the tears pooling down my cheeks, squeezing my shirt against my chest as if it would stop the throb in my heart,  I was breaking.

“I want my life back” I was whispering as I scratched my nails against the wall facing my bed. 

” please” my voice sounded like waves of oceans against a swimmer, heavy with pains and soft with a Hunger to turn the tides. I wanted to scream it out and in a twinkle of a star,  my voice was hitting my brains as it forces through the built-up lump in my throat “God! God!  God! Goooooood!  I want my liiiiife baaaack” my visions became blurry as memories hit me. It started with a gentle kiss to the tip of the rolled paper, then he lit it at the end for me. 

smoking is nothing, even the white man smokes he bielded while I took my first drag, then second then daily I was taking more drags than I could control.  I loved watching how the smoke would ride in the air before vanishing into it’s thinness. He was right, smoking wasn’t bad ‘cos I was still getting the best grades in my department but that was before he drilled through my hymen when the weed highness had taken over me.

 I’ll teach you love through the dark-reddish gateway between your lean fairy thighs. he whispered with caressing fingers on my shoulder as if to ease the stinging pain between my legs and again he was right,  in less than three months, all I wanted was his way of loving me – the roughly gentle way he pleasures my body with unending whispers. At this time,  I was already sinking with my grades and even the mirror could no more reflect me – the girl mother groomed me to be, the daughter father was always proud,  the voice that worship the Lord with joy – they all died, burnt and lost in the flames my nostrils often pushed out. 

┬ęthis is just a story that popped up in my head tonight, am a lazy writer and really struggling with writer’s block. Thank u for reading.

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